The holidays can be challenging, especially with a newborn or infant in your household. The fourth trimester can be a very delicate transition. For us, part of getting into the holiday spirit is extending extra energy to the new moms in our lives. Here are the key things we keep in mind when supporting the new moms in our lives during the holiday season.
Check in with Mom – Not Just Baby!
In the holiday season, it’s easy to get lost in the whirlwind of gift shopping, cooking, parties, holiday cards, and more. Adding onto that, new parents are flooded with love and interest in baby – it’s all baby, all the time! All that love is so appreciated, but it’s just as important to check in with mom to see how she’s doing. Here are a couple of questions to make sure the new moms in your life feel safe and comfortable:
- Are you looking for advice? Or someone to just listen?
- How can I best support you during your first holiday season as a new mom?
- How can we make sure you have some time to relax and enjoy the holidays, even with a new baby?
- How are you doing, really? I’m here to listen and support you, no matter what you’re going through.
Be Flexible with Holiday Event Expectations
There’s a lot of pressure to show up and show out for holiday events, so be understanding when mom and baby have limitations here. Mom and baby…
- May not be able to come at all;
- May only be able to stay for a short time;
- May only be available during a specific window; or
- May ask you to come to them.
One way to show mom love is to be understanding, gracious, and accommodating of any requests she may have around holiday events. Get into the holiday spirit, and enjoy the first holiday season with baby in whatever way mom thinks is best. If mom is coming over, make sure you ask before if it’s okay to hold baby. Additionally, make sure you have a quiet, private space available if mom wants to nurse or put baby down. If you’re traveling to see mom and baby, ask ahead of time how long you should expect to stay over. Any new mom knows that with a newborn or an infant in the house, longer visits can be a burden.
Understand When Mom Doesn’t Want Baby to be Held
Big holiday parties plus tons of hugs and kisses during cold and flu season can be very stressful for mom. It’s likely that mom is already getting a ton of advice and opinions on this matter, so support her wherever she’s at. One common pain point for new moms at big gatherings is that they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or offend anyone by not allowing them to hold the baby. The easiest and best way to avoid this social quandary: babywear! Tucking baby in for gatherings is a great way to limit baby’s contact with others. If you have a nervous new mom in your life that still wants to attend the holiday parties, suggest babywearing to cut down on germs.
There’s no gift like a new mom and baby for the holiday season, but it’s easy to let the energy and stress of the holidays overwhelm the spirit of gratitude and peace that we always hope to experience. Make sure the new moms in your life enjoy their holiday season by checking in on them, being understanding of their schedule, and of the comfort level with baby’s exposure to others during cold and flu season. Happy holidays!
