Three Myths about Bonding with your Newborn
1. Bonding with your baby happens the moment that they’re born. This sounds really nice in theory, and it is possible to feel love and chemistry with your baby as soon as they’re born. But overall, like any other relationship, this bond is going to take some time. It takes a little while to understand their cries and know their preferences. So try not to get discouraged that this Process takes a little bit longer than you had anticipated.
2. Breastfeeding happens automatically and very easily. This is also not true for most. For many people, it takes a little bit of work and some support with a lactation consultant to really get the proper positioning and the latch right. I like to remind people that this is sort of like a dance. You may have learned all the steps, but it takes a little bit of practice to get the performance just right.
3. If you need some physical or emotional space from your little one, that you’re so somehow failing or a bad parent, this is not true. You were a whole human being before you became a parent. So if you’re feeling like you need a little bit of distance on the day to day, just to regulate and ground yourself, this is normal and absolutely appropriate in the postpartum recovery.
The main difference is we’re starting to really advocate for this and talk about this now. So if you’ve been confused about why you feel guilty wanting some time away, it’s because it’s not always been on the forefront of our conversations and postpartum recovery. Just know it’s okay to take the necessary steps with your family to get some distance if necessary.
Frances is a licensed professional counselor and a perinatal mental health specialist. Click here to learn more about Frances and Fourth Trimester Postnatal Retreat’s Care Team.
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